When You Just Can’t

Have you ever had one of those moments or days when you just hang your head in your hands, completely defeated? Or you just have to walk away from a situation because you can’t handle it anymore? A time when things got stressful, confusing, and hopeless all at once?

This past week was one of those for me. Work was stressful to the max. It was one of those weeks when the phone rings off the hook, interrupting whatever report or to do list item you’ve been trying to accomplish for the past three hours, and at the end of the day you still didn’t get to anything you actually needed to get done. Each day was like this – drowning as the things needing my attention stacked up higher and higher. Friday hit and usually, the phones quiet down a bit, but not that day. A never-ending stream once again put on hold the other hundred things I was juggling. 1:30 hit and I hadn’t stepped away from my desk once. I was at the point where if I had to take one more phone call I was going to lose it. I needed to eat and get moving to a meeting with one of our customers, so I just left all of my unchecked tasks and went downstairs to take my lunch break.

Physically leaving the office didn’t help. As I sat on one of the benches in the common area my mind was still racing with the people I needed to check in with, messages to return, and things to update. I felt exhausted, overwhelmed, and defeated. I uttered a desperate prayer to Papa in that moment, “How am I ever supposed to get on top of things?? I am only one person, I can’t handle everything! I need the phones to shut up Lord, I  just can’t!” 

As soon as I let that out to Him, I realized how inward and me-focused the prayer was – how my focus was completely head down, drowning in what was right in front of me. Even my physical gaze was down – fixed on my hands in my lap, head down. I heard Him gently say, “Look up.”

I listened.

I lifted my physical and spiritual eyes.

With my head up, I took a couple of deep breaths and let them out slowly. I closed my eyes and pictured my Jesus on the cross. I saw a picture of Him reaching out to me with His nail-scarred hands and me taking hold of them, my head still down. He gave my hands a little squeeze and again said, “Look up.” So I did. My eyes met His, warm and full of love, and I let myself get lost in them. With my gaze fixed on Him, everything else faded away to the background. I was reminded He is what matters. His Kingdom come here on this earth and His glory. He is my life and all of these tasks and phone calls at work are all opportunities for me to do just that – one at a time. One mundane task at a time.

As I was driving home that night, my pizza for one next to me in the passenger seat, my focus shifted back down. Thoughts started to creep into my head as I drove by and saw restaurant parking lots full (Friday night date night) and the smell of pizza filled my car. Pizza for one…again. What’s it like to get asked to dinner and get all dressed up and enjoy a meal with someone? You wouldn’t know and who knows if you ever will…always heading home to dinner for one. Alone.

My heart started to sink down toward hopelessness as those thoughts swirled around in my head, making their way down my cheek as wet tears, landing in my lap. Again, I heard Him say, “Look up.” Papa was right there – my thoughts focused in on Him, His love washing over me. He was feeling the loneliness with me and gently reminding me He is all I need – that He is more than enough. He is never going to leave me. Abundant life is found in Him alone. The tears subsided as I drank in this truth. The peace that comes from being one hundred percent secure in Him – knowing and believing He truly is all I need, fell over me.

I share these moments from my week with you to let you know that much like you, I don’t always have it all together. There are plenty of moments I sink into despair or get caught up in stress and worry.  You and I both have a choice when those moments come. We can sink, heads down, completely absorbed in our pain and our stress and just dwell in it. Throw up our hands and just give in.

Or, heed His still small voice and “Look up.”

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

“I lift my eyes to the mountains – where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.” Psalm 121:1

“Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My heart and flesh may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:23-26

As a follower of Christ, you are never alone. He is with you always. He wants you to give your worries, your anxieties, your deepest dreams and disappointments to Him. You don’t have to handle them all on your own – most of us can’t anyway, no matter how hard we try! He offers us His hand – His strength and His love.

In these moments, drowning in stress, anxiety, or despair from work, family, relationships…look up! Look at His face. Look into His eyes. Get some perspective and remember how much He loves you – remember the cross. All of the details and checklists fade away in the light of His presence. Let His peace wrap around you. He is what matters in this life.

It doesn’t magically make all the things you still need to do disappear, but it certainly shifts your perspective and gives you the renewed strength and focus you need to take another step forward – holding tightly to His hand.

Look up!

Remember who He is.

Take a deep breath and let it out slowly.

Remember: you are His.

He’s your anchor – He’s got you.