Did Today Even Matter?

What does your week look like? Your day? Filled to the brim with work, meetings, events, errands, etc.?

Some days I look at my calendar with dread, releasing a heavy sigh, wondering how one person could possibly hope to stay on top of all the tasks and meetings filling its boxes. I find myself wondering. After a long day of running place to place, going from one thing to the next without taking a breath, the wondering sinks deeper to questioning. Is the energy and passion I put into each work day, meeting, coffee date, and church gathering doing anything Lord? Why am I so exhausted all the time? Am I really doing all of this for You or am I just spinning my wheels?

Routine can be a welcome thing after a time of uncertainty, ups and downs, and never knowing what tomorrow has in store. There can be a rhythm in routine – waking up, sipping that coffee and talking to Jesus, working to earn that paycheck, maybe squeeze in a workout, get dinner on the table, go to another meeting or run the kids somewhere, and then close your eyes at the end of it all and do it all again. In one sense, it could be seen as a comfort – as there’s no underlying fear of what the dawn may bring because you already know – you’ve filled in each hour of that calendar right?

Don’t get me wrong, routine can be a good thing (I’m a Type A woman all the way), but there’s a danger in it as well that we need to be aware of. Comfort has this way of seamlessly shifting into complacency without your notice. It can begin to deafen your soul to the voice of the Holy Spirit who wants to interrupt that routine with something better than you had planned.

There have been many days over the past couple of months – many more than I would like to admit to – where I have fallen into faithlessness. Hanging my head in defeat from stress and negativity at work, to falling back to old sins, to believing old lies about my identity Papa has already settled, to beating myself up over all the things I’m not doing or not doing well enough – many nights falling asleep exhausted and dreading the rising of the sun.

On one of these nights, through tears of frustration, mixed with a little hopelessness and a lot of fatigue, I questioned my Father:

What was the point of all that happened today?

Why do you have me here in this place – why do I keep failing Papa?

In that stillness He spoke very clearly to me, hearing my questions, and gently directing me to the bigger picture:

“Today is one day closer to the Wedding.”

Let’s pause here for a moment.

Now, I have never been married and can’t say that I have ever been in love, BUT I have been around plenty of friends and family who have. Family and friends share in the excitement of upcoming nuptials to a certain degree, but it is nothing compared to the glowing and anxious excitement felt by the bride and groom leading up to the big day. The bride and groom are beside themselves with eagerness, counting down each day until they meet their beloved at that altar. For the groom, to see his bride all dressed in white walking towards him, for the bride to make the walk up the aisle, eyes fixed on her beloved’s – the day they declare in front of all the witnesses, the world, and God, that this man, or this woman is MINE. I give myself to them wholeheartedly – mind, body, soul, and spirit – sealing a covenant with them.

Maybe not everyone cries at weddings, but there is this sacred, pure beauty to it, wouldn’t you agree? There’s something in the atmosphere as two people declare and promise to love each other not just as they are today, but who they will be 50 years from now – promising to choose to stay no matter what may come to pass.

That beauty, that sacredness we sense when we attend weddings is a mere shadow and tiny reflection of the Gospel – Jesus as the perfect groom and the Church His glowing, blameless bride.

So when Papa spoke to me in the darkness of that night, “Today is one day closer to the Wedding” it was like a shot of courage to my heart.

It’s a HUGE encouragement because it is a reminder that we know what’s coming! We know how this story ends and because of that we know nothing is wasted – even if we don’t believe it all the time. We know the Wedding Feast of the Lamb is coming – so, as the bride in this wedding party, what does that stir up in us??

What does that stir up in you?

I pray it spurs us on to action coated in loving boldness. I pray this bride, we, the Church go after making disciples, loving people, praying for miracles, serving people, being a people of fervent and intercessory prayer! The truth of the coming Wedding should not evoke a response of deflated defeat, “oh, well this life is hard and broken, but at least we know what’s coming.”

BECAUSE we know what’s coming, because of that truth, it should evoke a response of lethal hope! (Lethal to despair and sin that is.) To look upon each day as opportunity – as one step closer to that glorious Day! It is an encouragement that nothing is wasted. As the bride, we are filled with excitement and anticipation! We are to be preparing for the Wedding and that takes active, intentional choices.

I ask myself – what am I choosing?

I ask you – what are you choosing?

What did Jesus pray in Matthew 6? “Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven…” The kingdom is here! Now! Here as in Heaven. In John 14:12 Jesus makes a mind blowing statement, “Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I am going to the Father.” Jesus did not leave us on our own – He left us the Holy Spirit – the Advocate (check out John 14:15-27).

The Father doesn’t have us here to just here to twiddle our thumbs and groan in misery. Yes – there is so much pain and struggle in this fallen world. Never for a second would I even try to dismiss the havoc wreaked by sin and the brokenness and distortion left in its wake, but we must not lose sight of this truth: Jesus lives.

Our Jesus – who died on that cross and rose again is in the business of bringing redemption. He did it in His life, His death, and does it now in His resurrection and will bring it to completion the day of the Wedding. And while we look forward, hearts bursting with hope for that coming day – we must not forget He is in the process of restoring here and now: “…on earth as it is in Heaven…”

“Today is one day closer to the Wedding.”

This truth is my battle cry, the hope of my heart, and never ceases to bring a smile to my face.

On the hardest days, He whispers this into my ear, and it breathes life into my soul. Nothing is wasted. Each day of this life brings me closer to that day – to THE day when I will be united with Him forever.

On the best and fullest days, He whispers it into my ear. The days where I truly feel like I am on my game and nothing could be better. When I sit in a circle with my senior high youth group ladies just taking in our conversation about life, school, and the Father, and I realize what a precious gift I have been given to be a part of their lives – how beautiful each one of them is and how I get to stand next to them and watch them grow, not just in age and maturity, but as their relationship with the Father deepens. Papa reminds me as I lay my head down to sleep that this day too, is one day closer to the Wedding.

On the most joyous days, on the saddest days, on the most mediocre or directionless days, I am encouraged knowing each of them brings us one day closer to the Wedding – to what all our hope points toward – to see the beauty of the Bridegroom as the wedding bells ring – my Jesus.

One at a time, each day brings us closer to that moment. So, regardless if some are much more chaotic, harder or darker than others, I choose to be thankful for each and every one – even on the days when my heart doesn’t feel it.

I know what I know because I trust He knows:

“Today is one day closer to the Wedding.”