A Question For You

How many of you reading this are still single? Romantic life not really moving in any kind of direction? How many of you have those handful of single friends you don’t know what to say to anymore besides the good ol’ don’t worry it will happen!

Recently I have been feeling the ebb and flow of loneliness that can come with singleness and while you may be thinking to yourself, oh no, not another blog on singleness, and want to stop reading right now, just bear with me.

If you’ve seen all your other friends start dating/get engaged until it’s down to just a couple of you, or maybe just you…

If you’re more often than not the third, fifth, or seventh wheel at a dinner gathering, movie outing…

If you’re closer to 30 than 20 and haven’t really dated anyone…

Then maybe you can relate.

Here’s what I know:

1. I’m 26 and haven’t dated anyone seriously (not that there haven’t been chances, but that’s a whole other subject of how the Lord has broken down walls and shed light on some definite fear rooted deep down).
2. Papa, my Father God, loves me and pursues me daily. He provides abundant life – something I get either way, whether falling in love is a part of that, He knows.
3. I am not lacking anything.
4. There’s no magic formula or level of readiness to achieve.
5. I may feel lonely at times, but I am never alone.

I feel like my singleness ebbs and flows like a boat out at sea – I am held by my Anchor of Hope. There are days the waters are calm and still, and there are days I feel like wave after wave keeps slamming into me, rocking me, shaking me. I know what’s true and most of the time my heart is right there too, but when another engagement pops up or after sitting alone at another wedding, I find myself looking to the right and to the left. I feel the waves crashing. I felt it recently when my dog and Grandma died within the same week and I just wanted someone to hold me and physically be there with me through it all. But that someone isn’t in my life right now. Why do they make it look so easy? Why hasn’t it happened for me? Why has no one noticed me?

While the questions and emotions behind these questions feel very real, see how they all turn inward and downward, away from His face?

I brought these ‘why’ questions before Papa, crying out with some real talk. His response was a loving and gentle question back to me:

Why would you want someone else’s story when I have one just for you – one that has your name written all over it?

Mmmmm. Stopped my train of thought, bringing some much needed perspective. I need to stop wishing for someone else’s story. You need to stop wishing for someone else’s story. The Author of it all is working out His purpose in your life one day at a time – not just in the realm of romance, but career, family, friends, etc.! Trust Him. Trust His faithfulness and His sovereignty.

More often than not, I don’t really know what I am doing, but He does. He knows what He is working out in your life. Trust that – we know that He knows and that’s enough. I hope Papa’s question is an encouragement to you like it was to me. I challenge you to tell Him – talk it all out with Him daily, thanking Him for what He’s done and is doing! Dream with Him! Take comfort and excitement in the fact that the story He writes is unique to you alone! So, here’s my shot – today’s letter to God.

Dear Papa,

You are provider, protector, shield, haven, joy, comfort, peace, encourager, and HOPE. You are the One who fulfills, who satisfies completely – you never leave and nothing can separate us. You are my life. In you alone is true abundant life found – joy in all circumstances, knowing and leaning on your strength as my own – knowing my whole life is in your hands. You’re not surprised or anxious Lord. You know every step, every day, and every hair on my head.

Lord, thank you for your best for me. Thank you that you are good. Thank you Lord that you knowme. Lord, I pray for my person. I want to meet him, know him, date him, and fall in love with him. I want to dig into dreams together – to sharpen each other and call each other out and up into who You want us to be. To laugh and sing and be ridiculous with – to celebrate you first always – to live for You together.

Thank you that I already have all I need in you Papa.

Thank you for this life – for the process it is and how good it is to dream with you Lord. Thank you that through it all your promises, your faithfulness, and your love hold true.

Thank you that you catch every tear and you never leave me on my own.

Thank you for where you have me – help me to continue to see what is right in front of me – today!

Thank you for the story that is uniquely mine and how far we’ve already come. I feel like my dreams are not nearly as big as the ones you have waiting Lord – I can’t even begin to fathom. You’re so good. I love you Papa.

Stop wishing for someone else’s story.

He’s writing one that is yours alone!