Into the Darkness
Story is a powerful thing. It brings to life worlds forgotten or imagined and characters who find their way into our hearts. Story (both fiction and non-fiction) speaks to universal themes of the human condition – identity, suffering, love, war, grief, legacy, etc. The list could go on and on.
What was the last book you read, TV show you binged, or movie you watched that captivated you? Do you have it in your mind? What drew you in? What held you there? Did a piece of you grieve when you came to the last page or saw the final credits roll, not wanting it to end?
Why is it that we as humans love story? What it is about a movie, novel, or play that makes us ache and hope for the parents to reunite with their son, for the two people to make it through all the trials and end up together, for the criminal to be tracked down and brought to justice, for the child to forgive her parents for giving her up? Why do we yearn for that redemptive piece or resolution at the end of a story – and why do we feel cheated and upset when it doesn’t happen?
I would say it is because God has set eternity in the hearts of mankind (Ecclesiastes 3). These stories we create (without realizing it a lot of the time) reflect a shadow of the bigger, original redemption story God is writing for this earth and the people in it.
So it should come as no surprise when pieces of art in our culture draw us in deeper, make us think a little bit more about eternity, or ask questions about God and His relationship with the world. Whether it’s The Chronicles of Narnia, Lord of the Rings, or Les Miserables you’re reading or watching and it causes you to doubt, to ask, to wonder – I think that’s good! It leaves you wondering and wanting more. Any novel or movie created by humans will always fall short and incomplete in trying to represent God and His character because His ways are not our ways. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts (Isaiah 55:8-9). He cannot be reduced to a simple character analysis – you cannot entirely capture the God of the universe within the pages of a man-made book. That being said, I do believe stories can convey hints and glimpses of Him that leave us wanting more.
God speaks in many ways and differently to different people. I believe one of those ways is art and story. If a piece of art sparks a curiosity or hunger for God, then I would urge individuals to find those answers, not in a story written by man, but in the words breathed by God Himself.
Scripture provides the truest representation of God, the Holy Trinity, and His heart and character. Explore, dive in, and see what the Bible has to say on the matter.
Over the years in my own life, God has used many books, movies, and relationships to speak to me. Recently, He used a particular scene in the TV show based on the book series, Outlander, to speak so clearly to me of the Father’s love, what Christ has done, and the power of the Holy Spirit. It is truth I want to share with you in the hopes it encourages you, reminds you of the truth of God’s character, and leads you straight to His arms.
While there is a LOT of background information I could provide about the Outlander story, I am only going to share a few key facts that are important for where we’re going in today’s blog. The story takes place in 18th century Scotland, right before the second Jacobite uprising. Jamie Fraser is a Highlander warrior through and through. He is a man of honor, courage, and will rise up to fight when he is called to, no matter the cost. He’s a wanted man with a price on his head for charges falsified by the British. He married an English woman, Claire, to save her from being brutally interrogated and most likely killed by the British. As the days of their marriage multiplied, it became apparent it wasn’t just a marriage of convenience or necessity anymore. They fell deeply in love with each other.
Events lead to Jamie’s capture by the British. He is taken to prison where he is brutally beaten, tortured, raped, and broken. His fellow Highlanders and Claire eventually get him out and they flee to a monastery where Jamie can heal, far from the reaches of the British.
Like I said, there is SO MUCH more to this story, with details, character depth and connections and I feel like I am cheating you, but we don’t have space to do it justice here. Those are the bare bones you need for now.
We come to the monastery, where Jamie is in essence, broken; a shadow of himself, fearing his soul is lost forever. Physically, he is weak from wounds, torture, and fever. Mentally and emotionally, he is removed from everything and just wants it all to end. He feels he can no longer be a husband to Claire after what he has been through. He is shattered, exposed, weak, and refuses the sustenance of bread and water. He also refuses the touch and comfort of his wife, the love of his life. He’s resigned to what he believes is fact: he is beyond saving and whatever is left isn’t worth saving anyway.
How many of you have been in a similar place? I don’t know your story, so for some of you, maybe you have been to the extremes of what Jamie suffered – physically broken, but also emotionally and mentally. Maybe some of you don’t show it on the outside, but inside you’re emotionally and mentally wounded. Regardless, it’s a place of shadow, shrouded in darkness. You may be broken from circumstances, relationships, your own choices, fear, and sin. You hear condemnation and lies on all sides; shame is a constant companion. You’re sitting in this place, certain the things you have done, the things you have suffered, have taken you to a place you can’t return from. It might not be a devastating loss, major betrayal, or life event that triggered this. It could be fears long held, anxiety, a struggle with worthlessness, battling wounds from parents, holding onto unforgiveness. The fear, the worry, the pain or grief is too much. So, you refuse help. You choose to believe you are beyond saving. Life is what it is. And even if there is a God, there’s no way after all this that He could love you. He’s probably waiting to drop the hammer of judgement, disgust and anger in His eyes. How could He let all this happen anyway? You choose to stay where you are, not sure how to escape the darkness, but certain you can figure it out on your own. Or, perhaps it’s better to just give in and stay in the darkness. Choosing isolation, not really sharing with friends and family how you’re doing. Wanting to save face and out of pride and fear of being seen as you really are, hide it all, no matter the cost. No matter if it means slowly bleeding to death.
The darkness can be very deep indeed.
Whether you are a non-believer or a follower of Christ, the darkness is a place we have all experienced at one time or another, to different depths and lengths to be sure. All of humanity shares in this: we are all broken. Followers of Christ, while made new, still have wounds and broken parts that need the Savior’s healing touch. Dear brother or sister, have you ever been in a place like this? Drowning in lies, old thought patterns, fear, and sin? Believing lies that you’re a disappointment to God, there’s no way He wants to be with you now, that you’ve screwed it up royally and there’s no coming back? So, you refuse the sustenance of the Bread of Life and Living Water, His truth. You refuse the comfort and touch of His presence He so longs to give you. He’s right there, with you, even if you can’t lift your eyes enough to see it. You know the lies are contrary to the very heart of the Gospel and contrary to His truth. You know His character, His love, what He’s done, yet you shy away from His touch and comfort – thinking yourself too broken and dirty.
You’ve forgotten truth dear one.
“Satan’s lie cannot withstand the truth any more than the darkness of night can withstand the light of the rising sun. We are not called to dispel the darkness; we are called to turn on the light.” –Victory Over the Darkness, by Neil Anderson
Let me be real with you and give you a glimpse into the darkness I have known. There has been shame, condemnation, pride, selfishness, isolation, loneliness, and inaction. There’s been disgust with myself – being not enough and yet too much to handle at the same time. There’s idolatry (books, media, time alone, perfection, control, my way). There’s been so much fear – of wasting my talents and gifts, my “ripe” years, precious time, fear of dreams unrealized because I lack the courage to take a step forward.
I’ve forgotten truth.
So, we find ourselves enveloped in this darkness, unsure of the way out or if we even want out. Here’s what happens in the episode of Outlander, which interestingly enough is titled, “To Ransom a Man’s Soul.”
Jamie’s godfather, Murtagh, one of the Highlanders who helped rescue him from the prison makes this statement as he, Claire, and one of the monks talk about Jamie’s hopelessness. Even though his body may be healing, his soul is in great danger – he needs to be brought back to the light:
“Light or no light, none can lead him where he doesna want to go…I’m saying that maybe the only way to save Jamie is for someone to step into the darkness with him.”
That is what Claire does. She steps into the dark place he is in and helps him face his demons, refusing to leave him, refusing to give up on him, taking some punches – physical and emotional – as they face what happened to him in prison. He opens up and finally allows her in. He allows the truth of her words to soak in and he allows her to touch him.
It is that specific phrase spoken by Murtagh which gave me Holy Spirit tingles (as I call them when He is clearly trying to get my attention) and how clear it is: that is what Christ has done for us.
There was no way for mankind, on their own, to once again step into the beauty of the Edenic relationship with God after the fall. No way at all. So, did God abandon us to our own devices? Leaving us to the darkness, our choices, and brokenness and destruction left in the wake of sin?
Not a chance.
He made a way where there was no way.
“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.” John 1:1-5; 14
“For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” 2 Corinthians 5:21
Christ stepped down from His throne and came into our sin and darkness. He didn’t just watch from afar, afraid to get too close. He met us where we were at – dead and broken, mangled and dirty, weak and hopeless. He came in the midst of our brokenness and became broken himself. He felt the full, crushing weight of the darkness – took it all upon himself, suffered, and died, so we wouldn’t have to. He did it so we could be free. Three days after His death, Jesus Christ rose from the grave, defeating death and the power of hell once and for all. He reigns in victory – there is no darkness that can overcome His light. Joyfully, with eyes full of love, He offers us His victory. He offers life, love, this grace to us – freely.
“For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, who gave himself as a ransom for all…” 1 Timothy 2:5-6
“…but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8
Having been met with the depth of this kind of love, staring Him in the face, we tend to shrink away even more, as the beauty of the Gospel smacks us full in the face and all we can see is how unworthy we are in the presence of a Holy God. We don’t really believe Christ’s sacrifice is sufficient to cover all we’ve done and yet, something stirs. The heart begins to hope, to see a glimpse of the light. We want it to be true, but the real question comes out, as it did when Claire faced Jamie’s demons with him. He asked her:
“How can you love me like this?”
How many of you cried out to God with this question when wrestling with the truth of the Gospel? Struggling to understand this crazy love which offers grace?
How many of you, having been rescued, still take this question to our Good Father? Thinking the sin, failures, things you have endured have scarred you beyond His healing touch?
The same question Jamie asked Claire in that moment is what I have asked the Father, even recently:
“How can you love me like this?”
Because He does. There’s not a more complicated answer. It’s the miracle of the Father’s love – this love we cannot understand or comprehend. But, we can accept it. We must accept it! We need to accept that it covers everything, heals everything, never changes, and never leaves. It is steadfast, enduring, and relentless. It is a love we cannot earn and do not deserve – that’s the beauty of the Gospel. It’s all about Him.
He wraps His arms around us – the chasm has been covered by Jesus’ blood – it’s DONE. Nothing you do or ever could can separate you from Him once you are His (Romans 8; John 10:28-29). This is VITAL to note because you might be like, hold up, so you yourself have been in this darkness, doubting your identity, believing lies…girl, are you saying you can lose your salvation?
Hear me: once you become a member of God’s family, it’s a done deal. The Holy Spirit inside you is proof of that (Romans 8:15). Feelings and emotions are very real and hold importance, but they are not always accurate. As Charles Stanley puts it, “Be aware that feelings have nothing to do with the truth of our salvation.”
As I have experienced, and I would bet many of you have as well, our feelings of shame and sorrow can sometimes put us into flight mode, running from God, wanting to hide from Him (not so different from Adam and Eve, eh?) instead of running TO Him and letting Him in to heal our pain and shed the light of His truth that casts out all darkness.
“I have come into the world as light, so that whoever believes in me may not remain in darkness.” John 12:46
Know this: He sees you as precious and loved. When He looks at you, He doesn’t see the filth of what life has done to you, handed you, or choices you have made. He wants to heal and redeem what’s been broken – will you let him?
Will you let Him love you? Will you let Him in?
“Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.” Revelation 3:20
His is not the voice of condemnation. (Romans 8:1)
He came to:
Save “For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.” John 3:17
Forgive “Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool.” Isaiah 1:18
Redeem “In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace…” Ephesians 1:7
Make New “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” 2 Corinthians 5:17
Heal “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3
Give Life “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” John 10:10
After the Lord spoke to me through this episode, I went to Him. I brought Him that question. What He had to say is something I cannot to keep to myself, as it is truth for us all.
It is how He loves each of you.
What I said:
I am broken and I struggle Lord, but so great is your love that You meet me in this place – love unchanged – and long to be with me and for me to let Your presence heal, comfort, and empower – to let your light dispel the darkness. It’s beautiful. This love doesn’t make sense!
What He said:
Even knowing all you’ve done – especially of late – and whatever you will do in the future, know this: I would still choose you. Every time. Knowing what it would cost, knowing you will go through various seasons thinking you can do it on your own…I would still choose you. EVERY. TIME. Knowing the times you’ll turn and run and break both our hearts…I would still choose you. Every time. Do you hear me daughter? I CHOSE YOU. And I would do it again. I love you so much more than your mind and heart can fathom. No one loves you like I do – no one ever could or ever will. No one knows you better than Me.
He’s never going to force Himself on you. He is always there, always available, but it is our choice to let Him in.
Perhaps you have accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior, but you’ve forgotten truth. Fear, lies, or doubt have wormed their way into your heart. Soak in the truth and run to Him (1 John 1:9).
Perhaps you haven’t received Him. You’ve been hesitant, unsure, not really believing it’s true or necessary.
It is. Oh how it is! Ask Him to show you. If you understand the depth of your need for Him, that there is a chasm between you and God caused by sin, if you believe Jesus is the only solution, the only way to bridge that chasm because of what He did on the cross and defeating death with an empty tomb, that you believe life is found in Him, then tell Him. Tell Him all of it and accept Him as Lord and Savior of your life. He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life (John 14:6).
It is your choice. This grace, this freedom is offered openly in love to you. Jesus asks you the same question He asked His disciples and a blind man in Mark 10:
“What do you want me to do for you?”
What is your answer?
Suggested reading: Victory over the Darkness by Neil Anderson
Suggested viewing: The Heart of Man documentary (available on Netflix)
